Healing

I love emotions. Its the capacity to feel intense emotion that differentiates us from less evolved forms of life (Like unicellular beings). But recently, i noticed that emotions were getting the better of me. There was a phase of intense grief, then frustration, then anger….it went on. Till one day i noticed that my mind had become enslaved to negativity and eventually, i was the one getting hurt.
Emotions are essential to being human, but mastery on these is important. That's different from being calculative. I have started consciously tracking my thoughts, checking myself when I take a turn for the negative. There's still a long way to go. But at least i know the direction. Self control takes a lifetime of effort, but a small start can be made. In my case, i just want to do away with anger, fear and insecurity. I certainly don't think love needs self control. Serenity and optimism are great healers. Blind ambition, bitterness, jealousy and anger corrode you. They never let wounds become scars and then disappear altogether. With negativity, wounds fester, becoming gangrenous in the end.
I want to be an oasis. Someone who can touch herself and others with love. Dont know if i will get there. Its not a small desire. But if the journey is so uplifting, imagine what the goal would be like.