Life has a way of making you learn and then testing you on whatever you have learnt. The tests keep getting tougher. I had my baby in 2007. I also found a "maid" the same year. A fiery teenager with loads of attitude. When i looked at her for the first time, i felt nothing other than the usual expectations and apprehensions of a new employer. Thereafter, life became a roller coaster for me, at the end of which i found myself in Chandigarh, alone with my baby and Poonam. Anyone who knew me for at least a month at the time would gawk at the very idea of me being left alone with a kid. I don't know how to drive and public transport in Chandigarh is a rare commodity. This made me all but a vegetable here.
But we managed, Poonam and I. I put food on the table while Poonam, with her abrasive street smartness, took on many an unscrupulous shopkeeper or auto driver trying to fleece me. Somehow, she could not be indifferent towards me. It was never the relationship of employer and employee for her. In fact, she never asked for her salary, never had to, because we became family. We fought like wildcats, cried, made up and celebrated by going shopping or eating out. We also got movies to watch at night. I generally worked night shifts when i was with HT and used to come home at around one, one thirty. She would often wait up to watch a movie with me.
I made it clear that education is top priority. We made plans of school, getting her elementary education along with a vocational course. She wanted to be independent one day. Whenever she saw advertisements for jewelry, cars or gadgets, she would tell me she would buy me something like that one day.
There were pitfalls too. Poonam and I got so close she forgot how to behave like a maid and ended up rankling anyone who visited me. People would expect her behavior to be servile, while she was the spoilt but well meaning brat. There were many scenes. I faithfully defended her. Besides, i also knew where such brashness came from in her case. She was made to do hard labour in singularly inhospitable conditions at a very young age. She was 15 when she came to me. Before that, she worked at a stone quarry in Leh at barely 11 or 12. I shuddered when i pictured her hammering at boulders in a place where the thinness 0f the air makes walking a feat. She was beaten up till she fell unconscious for refusing to do hard labour under the blazing sun, she was accused of theft….et al. It left her bitter. Her family only called when they needed money. She knew that but missed them all the same. But her life with me more than made up for her parents' absence. She is a deep sleeper. You would have to fire a cannon next to her ear to wake her up. If i forgot my key while going to office, i would be stranded outside the door after my night shift, banging the door like a maniac.
But now Poonam can't sleep. Its been that way since she went home for a week recently and came back unusually silent. After much probing, she told me her parents want to marry her off to this guy who is physically challenged. That came as a crushing blow to this feisty girl. She has become an insomniac. Her spunk is now replaced with the look of an animal about to be slaughtered.
I don't know how to stop this, but i will certainly try. When i think of people like Poonam's parents, who constitute much of this country's underbelly, i feel all our progress is negated precisely because of their attitude. They keep having babies, each one a source of income and when it comes to daughters, they are made to earn all their life and are married off while still kids. I am a mother and i know how passionate i am about my daughter's future. I don't think "peer pressure" would force me to take a step inimical to her welfare.
I asked myself if my indignation stemmed from the fact that i would lose the person who takes care of my daughter while i am away. After lot of soul searching i can confidently say the answer is "no." My kid will be taken care of even if i am not there. The family network is strong. What hurts me is the pain this teenager is going through after she placed her trust in me. I want to do something. For Poonam first and then for others like her who are regularly made scapegoats by an insensitive, feudal social set up. I want the fire back in her eyes, whatever it takes...
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